The Allure of Sexual Predators
Sexual abusers are hard to see, and the pain they inflict is ethereal. It is almost invisible. Sexual abusers like to give hugs, and say, “I love you.” They remember your birthday, and they seem “normal” on so many other levels.
After they have committed their crime, the abusers can be kind and gentle, and often are helpful around the house – and they seem to care about the ones they’ve abused.
Meanwhile, their damage seeps into the heart and soul of their sweet prey, who feel toxic and heavy from silent woeful pain, while the abuser brings them flowers, and tells them how they are so special…..
This is the sickness that penetrates so deep, and hides under the covers of illusions of trust and safety. It is so terribly confusing for the victims, especially the children, who live in the house with the abuser. It’s not like a broken arm or a black eye. The violence is presented as a gift.
Sexual abuse is masked more than any other form of violence, and yet it is perhaps the most damaging, because like cancer, it is the silent killer.
Asking a victim to come forward and confess the crimes of a parent who has just fed them dinner, or taken them to the zoo, or given them flowers, is equally as painful and distressing for the poor soul who must then try to hold on to their inner sanity, as reality slips through their fingers and truth unravels from a rich tapestry to a shroud of thin strands of twine that disintegrate into a ball of tangled, broken dreams and illusions of a former reality.
Author, Making Sense of Monsters
Mother of a survivor of child sexual abuse